Sunday, February 28, 2010

Whats Next?

You would think that by now its time that they would know what’s going on with me and be able to fix it or find something to make me not in pain other than having to take medicine every day and night. Well guess what nope the doctors haven’t and gets really annoying. How do you think you would feel if it seems every other day you were sick or if you had to remember to take several different medicine’s all that time and still not knowing what is wrong or if you are ever going to be able to as I say feel normal again.

I feel like I can’t just go out and have fun with not feeling at least a little sick. Yeah I don’t feel like miserable all the time but that is thanks to the several medicine’s I take however I think everyday I feel at least a little as I say under the weather. I feel like it’s so repetitive the same old thing saying the same thing all the time and still no answers. I’m sick of being sick and feeling like crap, I’m sick of not knowing when I’m just going to hit with a sharp knife stabbing pain.

Lucky for me its almost time for another surgery as I said earlier in my posts I have to get one every three to six months and its time for another endoscopy I’m hoping that maybe they will find something this time that will give them more information because I’m just ready to stop taking all these medicines. I’m ready to just be able to feel better all I really want is just a week where I can just go without taking medicine and without feeling sick at all but I know that I cant because if I go a day without medicine I’m tired and feel even worse. I’m just ready to be normal again as I say but I guess I can say I have plenty of time to give and that’s more than some others can say.


  1. I truly hope that they find out what is wrong with you. I know that it must really be a pain in the ass to be sick all the time. However i also know that when you are sick like that it not only affects you but your family as well. And when you said that you would just like to feel normal again I can relate to that. It seems that every time i try to go out with my friend I can truly never be all the way with them because a big part of me just wants to get back to my little sisters side. But whenever i say this to my dad he just says well being normal is overrated and there is really no normal.

  2. Well, you have the cheeriest disposition, Ashley. No one could guess that from these posts! I guess you're managing to use this space as an arena to vent. That's writing as therapy, and it may seem like a drop in the bucket, but getting your feelings out can help you grapple with the distressing stuff that much more easily (I hope).


  3. hey salty, I kind of know how you feel on a short term way. I have a lot of problems with my eyes because I never really took care of them when i wore contacts and now its biting me in the ass. I have to take pain killers a lot of the time and my eyes are very sensitive to the sun. I have to get laser surgery on my eyes in a few months and I'm not looking forward to it. Hope SOMEONE can figure out whats wrong with you!